i'm struggling with living in this world.
these past few weeks have been pretty much the most draining weeks of my year, and maybe 2 years..possibly.
it's nights of endless tears and and countless painful thoughts that make me feel as though life has no more purpose and meaning.
even to the extent that, im too sinful for God to love me anymore.
even felt as though maybe,...you know, God's given up on me and ....

but last night,
i cried.
with all my heart.
letting it alll out,
and this time,
to God.
and pouring every single thingin me to Him.
and last night,
i felt God crying with me.

it was sooo hard to say these exact words, "ALL MY DELIGHT IS IN YOU, LORD."
and for that very moment, i knew.
i believed and i had HOPE.
that SOmEone really loved me and cared for me and i felt so still and quiet.
i felt HIs presence.
and even though i might feel so so damn lonely and going through alll these things on my own,
i felt comfort in knowing that Someone understands me, and knows my every thoughts,
and loves me..still.

You know my name.
You know my every thought,
You see each tear that falls.
and hear me when i call.