Wow, not much activity here. But I guess its about time for some yea? haha.
I am feeling like blogging attitude at the moment, spare a few thoughts for this page. I just want to let some steam off.
I want to run. I want to love. I want to have peace. I want so many things right now this moment yet all of it seems so distant, and some of it may not be entirely what I will get. I wish I'd know what's wrong, but I guess all I can figure out in words is that I haven't being who I'd say I will be. And for what it's worth, I don't know if I will ever be who I say I am.
They say we all carry around a load, and that we all carry around something to mask it too. The mask is used to show the world what we want the world to think of us. But deep down we know we are probably not that. Sometimes, when we live our lives behind that mask for a while, we forget its a mask and start believing it ourselves. Then someone comes along and shake things up, the mask falls apart and who we are, our load, becomes fully exposed, if only for a brief time. And we become so shocked at what we are reminded of that we start to question who we really are: the mask, or the load.
For me, I think my mask of Love has being broken today. Maybe the Love that I show to my family, friends, ministry, enemies, are merely for show; a mask. And what I truly am is what it has always being; nothing's changed.
This for me are my doubts. I am the doubter. Doubting Thomas. They say that for one to truly believe, they will have to have doubted. I hope this is true for me. I hope that the changes I proclaim to the world is not merely just a mask, but real substantial changes.
Showing posts with label musingsandwhatifs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musingsandwhatifs. Show all posts
Friday, July 27, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Oxymoronic Paradoxes
Something prompts me to write about existence. I heard someone said the other day that life is merely a dream, and death an endless cycle of existence that had no beginning nor any end. Meaning is meaningless, purpose is purposeless. It is sad, it is depressing, it is all.
If that is all, then I would dare say the nation of Israel would not have survived till now. Indeed, the Christian church, being persecuted as it had been, would not have survived till now as well. As there is no outside force that helps, no outside force that cares and loves, man is doomed to an existence only characterised by suffering. I can tell where the buddhist thought first came from. I can also tell why people may find that to be the truth of the universe.
But having my eyes opened to the possibility of something greater than this monotonous repetition of life and death and life again, I find the very idea of this appallingly disgusting. I don't see the reason behind people blindly following whatever people are doing without so much as discovering for themselves the real answers. People who take it for granted that whatever appears inside a novel written by one man who based his ideas on contentious and unsupported evidence is the real truth, instead of a book that was written by many men over a millenia, of which the ideas are consistent throughout, and upon which people find real peace and salvation all around the world everyday. Why do people prefer hearsay rather than hard truth? Is it something in the way we are educated that makes us blind? People who are not well educated can see, yet the Western world for all its pompous pride about its intellectual prowess is unable to see!
I want to show them all... I want to make it known that there cannot be half-truths and oxymoronic paradoxes being pushed out as authentic and real beliefs. I hear sometimes that people would mix all sorts of discrepent ideologies together and making it out like it actually made sense: things like atheistic-christian, a buddhist-christian, even those Bahaists who think that all religions with all their inconsistent ideals are somehow all the same and hold equal truth. I particularly like the atheistic-christian, a confusing idea, and even for non-religious people would appear absolutely absurd, yet are geniune categories of "religion" for many people.
Perhaps I am just biased. Perhaps everything the world has to say about Truth is correct, and that indeed the world has never had any purpose, that one big bang suddenly emerged out of nothingness all by itself, that God can speak contradictingly and yet be known as constant and eternal. But in my view, there are many reasons why this is not it, and there is so much more than this.
If that is all, then I would dare say the nation of Israel would not have survived till now. Indeed, the Christian church, being persecuted as it had been, would not have survived till now as well. As there is no outside force that helps, no outside force that cares and loves, man is doomed to an existence only characterised by suffering. I can tell where the buddhist thought first came from. I can also tell why people may find that to be the truth of the universe.
But having my eyes opened to the possibility of something greater than this monotonous repetition of life and death and life again, I find the very idea of this appallingly disgusting. I don't see the reason behind people blindly following whatever people are doing without so much as discovering for themselves the real answers. People who take it for granted that whatever appears inside a novel written by one man who based his ideas on contentious and unsupported evidence is the real truth, instead of a book that was written by many men over a millenia, of which the ideas are consistent throughout, and upon which people find real peace and salvation all around the world everyday. Why do people prefer hearsay rather than hard truth? Is it something in the way we are educated that makes us blind? People who are not well educated can see, yet the Western world for all its pompous pride about its intellectual prowess is unable to see!
I want to show them all... I want to make it known that there cannot be half-truths and oxymoronic paradoxes being pushed out as authentic and real beliefs. I hear sometimes that people would mix all sorts of discrepent ideologies together and making it out like it actually made sense: things like atheistic-christian, a buddhist-christian, even those Bahaists who think that all religions with all their inconsistent ideals are somehow all the same and hold equal truth. I particularly like the atheistic-christian, a confusing idea, and even for non-religious people would appear absolutely absurd, yet are geniune categories of "religion" for many people.
Perhaps I am just biased. Perhaps everything the world has to say about Truth is correct, and that indeed the world has never had any purpose, that one big bang suddenly emerged out of nothingness all by itself, that God can speak contradictingly and yet be known as constant and eternal. But in my view, there are many reasons why this is not it, and there is so much more than this.
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